What Can I Do To Help?

So many of our friends have expressed love, concern and a desire to help us in some way. I am so grateful for all the dear friends and family that have reached out to us. Thank you, thank you.

Those of you that really know me, know that I am not good at asking for help. Many of us are that way. We really are doing quite well right now. My health has actually improved some. The medication I am on for my liver is improving how I feel day to day and the medication for the cancer has not caused any side affects. My only struggle currently is the pain in my left hip. If I am on my hip for too long the pain will increase and I know it's time to lay low for a while. I will begin radiation treatments in the near future to help with the pain.

But there are some ways we do need help. The first one helps us personally. The second helps everyone who will ever be touched by cancer.

Way To Help #1
One of the biggest stresses beyond all that comes with being sick is the financial burden that being sick places on the family. We have some dear friends that are putting together some fundraising efforts in our behalf. Your support of those efforts would be greatly appreciated.

The first fundraiser is a yard sale to be held on Saturday August 24th. There is also a silent auction in the works. If you would like to contribute items to be sold, would like to help in the effort, or have other ideas, your help would be celebrated. Our amazing friend Stephanie Strawn is working hard to pull this all together. You can contact her at strawn05@hotmail.com or 435-760-5065.


Way To Help #2
Cancer has affected too many for too long. The last few years our family has been involved with the American Cancer Society in helping to raise money to find a cure with Relay For Life.

ACS has launched a new effort in the fight. This time it's not about the money, but the information. Remember when the connection of smoking and lung cancer was made? That was a study headed by the ACS. This fall they are launching another study... Cancer Prevention Study-3 or CPS-3.

"The goal of Cancer Prevention Study - 3 (CPS-3) is to better understand the factors (lifestyle, environmental, genetic) that cause or prevent cancer and, ultimately, to help eliminate cancer as a major health concern for future generations. Men and women between the ages of 30 and 65 who have never been personally diagnosed with cancer and are willing to make a long-term commitment to the study can participate."

The goal is to have 300,000 participants across the country. Your help is needed. For more information and specifics about the study go to the ACS Website. There are 6 locations and times throughout Cache Valley, as well as sights across the country to sign up as a participant.

Thank-you for any help you are able to give.

It's Not About Time

Earlier this year, our Bishop spoke about the principle of possession verses becoming. Satan's plan is about possession. He wants to possess us, in that he wants us to follow him. He wants to control us and bind us slowly with a flaxen cord. He wants us to focus on possession as well. It is so easy to get caught up in the worldly race of trying to possess more and more, to spend all our time with worry of how to make more money to have nice things, to have more money for a nice life, more money to have more than our neighbor has. When that is our focus, Satan has taken possession of us.

But the plan of our Heavenly Father is about becoming. We are to become like Him and our Savior Jesus Christ. This isn't through a forced plan. We choose what we want to become. Each day is a choice. Each day we determine our reaction to life, and those reactions determine how we are becoming. It is all within our power to choose. Are we choosing to become more loving with those around us. Are we becoming more refined, less focused on the worldly pursuits. Are seeking for the kingdom of God here in this life? Are we seeking to help others, even while we ourselves might be facing something difficult?

Becoming. It's all about becoming.

But over this last month, and really the last few days, I've had to repent. I've thought I was doing a fair job at becoming. The worldly things are not a strong desire for me. But I realized that there is one worldly possession I have been holding on tight to. That is the possession of time. I've wanted to have more and more and more time left on this earth. I've wanted more time with my family, more time for school, more time to become a teacher and to have my own classroom. I've wanted more time to see my children grow and begin their own families. I've wanted more time with my husband to grow old together in service and memories. Not one of those things is a terrible thing. Each one is really about becoming. Each one is still putting the Kingdom of God first, in my own little sphere of influence. But my attitude was wrong. The time I have left on this earth is a worldly possession. It is not a possession that I am ultimately in control of. That belongs to my Heavenly Father. It is up to him on how much time I am given here. And when that time is through, all will be in His hands. My husband, my children, everyone I care about will be in His hands and will be cared for.

For me, it is about becoming. I will live the time I have left focused on those things that matter, knowing that my days will not be numbered less. I will be a fighter. I want my children to see me fight. I want them to see that their mother was strong and didn't back down. But I fight to continue to become. I fight to become stronger, not to try and change the time my Heavenly Father has for me. Time is not in my hands, but my attitude about time is.

Additional Diagnosis

I met with the liver specialist yesterday. I really like her despite the bad news she had to give me. My sister joined me for the adventure and helped make a very hard day much enjoyable.

I found out I have PSC or Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis. It is an autoimmune disease where my body is attacking my liver, causing my liver to harden with scar tissue. There is no real treatment or cure. The only option is a liver transplant on down the road, for most patients. But I've never been like most patients. Due to my cancer diagnosis, I am not a candidate for a transplant. The anti-rejection drugs that are prescribed for a lifetime following transplant surgery would cause the cancer to grow rapidly. PROGNOSIS If all goes well and the cancer treatments play well with my liver, I have 7 years give or take a few. This would at least let me see my children grow and possibly go on missions, marry and maybe even begin their families. It gives me more time than we first thought. I have more time to spend with the love of my life and make memories to carry on into eternity. When we received the cancer diagnosis I wasn't settled. I felt empty and a bit lost. It wasn't what I was being prepared for. I knew it was bigger. I knew there was more. When Dr. Hatch gave me the rest of the story yesterday, it all felt right and complete. I finally felt settled and peaceful. I am grateful to be living a life with an understanding that even when told officially by a doctor that "I am dying", I can feel peace. I can share peace with those around me and live what life I have left with joy. Not just happiness, but joy. I am at peace.